The Effect of verbal abuse on children

Negative criticism can cause immense damage to the child's tender mind. Children suffer in many ways when they are subjected to negative criticism. Negative criticism causes more harm than physical abuse. It hurts the child psychologically and damages its self-esteem.

Children consider their parents to be gods. Unfortunately parents are human beings. They are ignorant of the damage they inflict on their child when they criticize, belittle, put down, ridicule and humiliate it. Some parents say that they do all this to motivate the child. Unfortunately it has the opposite effect. Negative criticism demotivates and discourages the child.

Children believe whatever their parents (or teachers)  say.  When the parent tells the child that it is useless, the child believes it to be true. The child begins to believe that it is stupid and useless. It stops trying new things. This impacts its mental growth immensely.

The child feels alienated from its parents. It feels unloved, undeserving, angry, frustrated, stupid and worthless. This leads to lack of self worth and confidence. Parents need to be more concious and understand that their words have a powerful and long-lasting effect on their children. Fortunately it works both ways. Words of love and encouragement can do wonders for the child.

Parents are responsible for their children and it is true that they cannot keep quiet when their child is misbehaving. It is their job to correct the child's unacceptable behavior. However, they need to adapt the right approach. Never label your child.

Criticism should be constructive. The message has to be clear and concise. The focus should be on the behavior and on the possible outcomes of that particular behavior. The child should be trained to avoid committing the same mistake again. Whenever possible it is advisable to give the child an opportunity to rectify the mistake. The parent, teacher or care taker should encourage the child while it is working on rectifying the mistake.

It is not difficult to correct a child's behavior without causing psychological havoc. All it takes is  patience. We adults need to think before we act. It is always advisable to focus on the good in the child. They need to avoid finding faults.

Children need encouragement, support and appreciation from their parents and teachers. Their love nourishes the child's mind and promotes good mental health and a sense of well-being.

(adapted from article by Srikanth Radhakrishna)